Being a woman in Africa

It is hard to be a woman in Africa,

I can’t have an education or it will make me love it over my marriage and make me to be the head of the home.

I can’t have a job, because I will become proud and not submissive.

I can’t have a job that pays more than my husband because it’s an insult to his man hood; he will be emasculated and one day I will use it to rubbish him out side.

I cant be single at 25, unmarried by 30 and don’t have a single child at 35; it will mean am cursed, have a spiritual husband or I have had a bad character and no man want to be with me.

Any achievement of mine is a waste and useless if I don’t have a boyfriend or a husband and it will make me more arrogant and unattractive to men.

Heaven forbid that I have a house or a car for the same affirmations!!! The only place I can leave is my parents’ house until I get married.

Only loose women stays in a hotel.

If my job requires I travel, I have to stay with an elderly couple; friends or relatives who can talk to me about this my job and how it will not allow me settle in one place and marry.

Expensive things are not allowed, I can’t marry quick with them, I can’t speak on anything under the sun unless I have a ring on my finger and a baby who has sucked my breast .

If my boyfriend or husband cheats on me, I must endure it and manage.. All men are the same and there no good ones around anymore.

Whatever my husband or even my stupid boyfriend that does not know left or right does, I must agree.

It’s as if the moment we got together I lost my sense of reasoning and purpose in life, his word even if foolish is love and I must die to please him and obey him.

How dare do I expect my husband hire a maid or ask any one aside me to clean?

What did he marry me for?

How dare do I dream of a husband who cooks and clean?? Am I mad? Is that not witch craft? Why should he take care of the children while I sleep, travel or go out? Is he my maid or my servant?

Ooh when it comes to being a good wife, I must not forget to cook fresh soup every day, wear makeup, heels and sexy dresses or be naked everyday…

I must learn how to shake my waist like my life depend on it and be ready for sex all the time… do I want him to go outside and cheat??

He can do anything because am a useless and stupid woman

The walls fall apart because am a useless and stupid woman.

The marriage end because am a useless and stupid woman.

My husband cheats and beats me up because am a useless and stupid woman.

The children grow up horrible because am a useless and stupid woman.

I am a useless and stupid woman because am a useless and stupid woman.

Its bad enough men think this way, but to see women think this same way and fight against people who struggle to raise awareness on women's rights, like they are the next Malcom X, Luther or Madiba is shocking and sad. 

May be one day things will get better. I pray it gets better because anyone who says these trash affirmation to my babies will hear it from me.