The other woman......4

Dear diary,

It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself. It is easier to live with someone by your side than to find your freedom on your own. The freedom to lead and plan your own life on your own is frightening if you have never faced it before. And even if you have face it once before it is not easy to make a step backward like nothing has happened your life. A lot of things happen in our lives without any justification but whatever happens to us takes us one step ahead in the path of self realization, in the path of self discovery.  Some may say we are all travelers in life eternal journey, we meet people, we love, we care but the truth is nothing lasts forever…. If only I could cultivate a sense of detachment, my life would have been so much easier with lesser regrets.

I never told Mr. X, I was okay to being his concubine but I never refused to see him, I never said no to his presents and flowers, I never even banned him from my house. Life went on..but everything had changed, I had to share Mr. X something that I was not entirely comfortable with, even though he said over and over again that he loved me and not her somehow in his absence I would find myself angry thinking of all the things He might be doing to the so called Mrs. X it was never easy. Yes I admit, I was jealous, jealous of every minute he spent with her, of every concerned expression he sent on her way, of all the nights that he would spend with her, of every glance, every touch every thought.

I had never been jealous before yet here I was so jealous that at times I entertained the thought of getting myself pregnant to get his attention (what a stupid idea). Somewhere in the middle of all this madness Mr. X reduced his visits to my apartment, he stopped calling and he stopped sending flowers. Every time I try to reach him he will tell me he was busy with this, or busy with that… or Mrs. X was becoming suspicious. Well I had chosen the path so I might as well learn to deal with it that what I thought everything he told me he was busy. I had to find another way to keep myself busy or may be to get over him.

The truly scaring thing about undiscovered lies is that they have the ability to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self esteem, our every foundation that we thought we have built so firm. One weekend I had gone out with a couple of friends for dinner. After we have had diner, we went for a movie. As we were entering the Movie complex I noticed a car that looked like the one Mr. X was using but it never occurred to me that it could be Mr. X since he had told me he would spend the night with his wife and children. We bought our tickets, got our seats, ready for the movie to start.  Two rows in front of us sat a couple, the guy had his hand around the lady and they kept kissing every now and then. I did not know the guy could  actually be Mr. X.  

After sometime I went out to answer a call of nature, I opened the door to the lady’s room and in front of the there was an image that I have been trying to erase from my mind for ages. If you are wondering what it was, it was Mr. X screwing another woman in the ladies room!! Yeah the woman was not Mrs. X. To be clear there was another other woman that I never knew existed till that night. I dont know where I got the strength that night, I could have died out of a shock but instead I took my purse and used it to beat the hell out of Mr. X until when people came to tear us apart. Then my eyes became clouded with hot liquid, and without disturbing the firmness of my lips….it made the air thick and rolled down my cheeks.

Dear diary, I used to think I was helpless when it comes to me and Mr. X situation, many times in my life I have been helpless, powerless but not that night. I had seen clearly the kind of man he was and I had power to choose the manner in which I will live my life. Even if I had never been the master of anything else in my life, I decided I was going to be the master of my own life from that night…. I don't know what happened to Mr. X and his wife or the other woman but I moved to another city, started a new life… A life of my own, it wasn't easy but I did it, I now I have a life I have always wanted. I am free, strong and my happiness belongs to me.

Here is a secret that a lot of people do not know, the best day of your life is the day you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses, No one to learn on, to depend on or to blame. This is the day that your life will really begin.

True life story narrated by Jackline……