All alone..

Dear diary,

There is a difference between being alone because you choose to and being alone because everyone is taken away for you...! i think is easier if its u choose to be alone... i have been alone most of my life until 3 years ago..i was alone because i choose to... and it was oky.. i was fine with it...it was me, myself and i against the world......with Jesus as my best friend, my bed was my comfort, and my pillows would wipe my tears wherever i couldn't stop myself from crying..... and in the next day i would walk out of my room pretending to be stronger than yesterday but inside i was weaker than yesterday......

Then i met him... the chocolate trump.. it changed everything.... he was so easy to talk to....i  could tell him a very thing and anything....and i never had to do it alone, he was so easy to talk to. he made everything seem so easy but like they say nothing lasts forever...

Tomorrow is the day....its a day when he will be taken away from me, just like Bill Murray,I don't want to be lonely, but i have felt lonely many times in my life. And this time its worse than any other time... am forced to be alone...and i hate to admit that i am lonely just at the thought of him leaving... i keep wondering if this is way it was meant to be..How will my days be.. my nights.... i wonder whom will i talk to about everything and anything... who will be there that i wouldn't have to choose my words around them, someone that i will talk to without even thinking about what am going to talk about.

I know he loves me but somehow the circumstances are conspiring against us, i wish to tell him not to go..but how will i live with the fact that may be i kept him from the best things that could happen in his life?? He says he will be back but he does not know when..... how do u wait for someone that u do know when he is coming back??

All that i know is i don't want tomorrow to come.....

Much love

me