I am still trying to find the right words to appeal to you, to find a connection to you. A decade is yet to lapse and yet so many things have happened; so much has changed that I find it
hard to recognize you. If you saw me today you probably won’t like me but may be, you would be proud of me.
First of all I want you to know I
don’t hate you, you are a part of me, you are the reason I am who I am today. I
have no regrets whatsoever for anything that happened up to the point I sat
down to write this letter. You are a young brave woman who is torn between her
past and her future, the confusion you are going through, the pain of not being
able to let the world know, the pressure building up in you day after day is
just temporary. Some day, it will be just a story, one that you can use to
encourage others.
I know you swore to yourself that your 18th birthday will be your turning point; a time you will start a
new chapter in your life and leave behind the old notorious you. You want to be
what everybody thinks you are; in your own way you think it will make you a
better person. May be it will transform you to the better. But what you don’t realize is you were not born to be like everyone else, you were born to stand
out of the crowd and I wish you didn't try to fit in. My dear, life is too
short to waste any amount of time wondering what other people think of you. What
is important is not others opinion of you but your opinion to yourself.
I hate to see you wet your pillows
with tears every night. I hate the pain you keep inside yourself. You have to
find a way to let it out or it will destroy you. I know you have hit several
rough patches in your life, we all do and this will not be the last, that is why
you have to find a way get it out of your system. If you must know Pain is a
part of human life and cannot be escaped. At times it will get worse and you
will feel as though someone has stabbed your fresh wound over and over again,
something I wish you could do without in your life. Well, the trick is to keep
living one day at a time and eventually it gets pushed into the background of
your life. And then one day you know you are okay, yeah may be it will still
hurt but you will realize the details of the horrible past have begun to fade
away.
Enjoy the power and beauty of
your mind. You really have no idea how powerful and creative you can be. I don’t
know why you admire people who are so inferior to you. You have a lot better
and you could do so much more than what you think you have. I want you to find
your own voice, to be what you really want to be. I want you to be the best you
could ever be, because the longer you wait to begin the less likely you are to
find it all and enjoy it. When you find your path, you should not be afraid. You
need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointments, defeat and
despairs will come, but they are tools God uses to show us the way. Your time
is limited, don’t waste it living someone’s life, don’t let the noise of others
drown out your inner voice; always have the courage to follow your heart and
intuition.
Freedom; it is something you have
been hoping to feel when you are 18. Do you feel it?? No you don't! To tell you the truth, you don't feel it because you still don’t know what freedom is. My dear, freedom is not found in
money like many people think, freedom is not in a piece of paper, it is not in
the liberty to express your opinions or thoughts or believes like your civics
teacher had taught you. Freedom is not even outside our prisons. Freedom begins
with the decision to be what you really are. True freedom is found in righteousness. Until you understand this you will not know what freedom is.
Love; I know you keep saying you can’t
love a person and probably you will marry just because it is what the society
expects of you. But do you know what I think?? I think you are scared of giving
your heart to someone because you are scared of being hurt. Here is what I tell
you, Expose yourself to your deepest fear, after that, fear has no power over
you anymore and you are free. You will be cheated on, lied to and betrayed by
those you love the most. Broken hearts are inevitable in the path to love and
the only way of avoiding them is by deciding not to love at all. But it also
means you will miss the joy of loving and being loved. It is like removing your
own eyes not to see bad things that happen in this life. When you find your prince you will be glad you
endured all the pain to get to him, you will be capable of learning everything
and knowing things you had never dared to even think because love is the key to
understand all the mysteries.
In all this don’t expect anyone else
to support you but yourself. All these people around you might be willing to
support you but you never really know when either of them might run out. Trust me;
you don’t need anyone else to bring a new kind of life light in your life. It is
simply waiting out there for you to discover and make the best out of it. All you
have to do is make a decision to be true to yourself. The only person fighting
you at this moment is your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances.
Last but not least, memories are
dangerous. They will pull you back to your past every time you try to escape
it, and every time they will weigh heavier. Each day they will drag you down a
little bit further. Find a way to make good memories and you won’t have to deal
with the bad ones. Be careful with those who advice you but be patient with
those who supply it.
By the way, do not miss use your beauty,
not that you will understand but beauty is power, the same way money is, the
same way a gun is. 20 years from now you will look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibilities laid before you,
how fabulous you were but it will be too late.
Love you
me
P.S Don’t you worry about the
future after all the real problems you will face are part of the things that
never crossed your worried mind.
