Recently married people have
started to get to my nerves, I don’t know why but suddenly they are so
interested in my love life, for some reasons they cannot stop bothering me with
a question as to when I will get married and to whom. Sometimes it sound like
being unmarried woman is something I should be ashamed of yet am still in my
twenties. I am beginning to think those who are dismissive of my singleness are
those who have settled, those who got married because that was what was expected
of them and they don’t seem to understand is that am the kind of person who
would rather get my hopes really high and watch them get crushed into little
pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded.
I don’t know why, but people have
forgotten that the point of getting married is not just to have a ring on it
but to spend the rest of your life with someone who makes you want to be a
better person. Yeah I know no
relationship is perfect but who wants to be married to a person who makes you
have dutiful sex, who settles for a football over a picnic with you , who
believe in a husbandly capitulation... yes baby, okay honey, I love you honey
but does not mean any of it. He just does it because he wants to pretend your marriage
is working but really how long can that go on before both of you are so tired?? Do people even stop to think how much effort will be required to sustain the feeling between two people who don't really have a chemistry together but they have to get married because they are pregnant or what ever excuse they have?
We all want different things, and
I know I have a right not to settle because this life is so difficult at it is
why would anyone want to be with someone looking forward to a life of hardship
and routines for the next 50 years just because you married that nice good-looking-rich-perfect
on paper man who make you feel like a stranger in your own house trying so hard
to keep it together before he runs our and screw another woman. And before you
know it you start saying you wish you waited a little bit longer before you got
into the whole marriage and family life.
May be am over
thinking all this. But really what is it with the whole marriage thing that
everyone who is not in it wants to get to it and everyone who is in it wants to
get out of it? I think most people would not get married if they could see the
future of their marriages. Many marriages falls apart sooner than anyone
expects, not what we can see on the outside but what is really happening behind
closed doors. Sometimes it scares me to think how many people would smile, hug
or even kiss in public yet when they are home they cannot bear to hear the
sound of each other, it is sad you when you are married to the person you can’t
really talk to about anything and more sad if you are married to the person you
can be quiet with, and all you do is argue.. I think of those couples who make
babies out of their loneliness and boredom and it saddens me. Those couples who
would see themselves growing further apart each day than they ever imagined
when courting, and before they know it they begin to ask themselves, when did
everything go wrong, but the real question is when was it ever right??
Dear diary, don’t get me wrong,
am not saying marriage is a bad thing nor do I say I will not get married
someday for I too know happiness is only real when it is shared with another
person that means the world to you. But until I find that person I am willing
to take may time and continue to explore the world I live in. I wouldn't want
to join so many people who live in unhappy marriages and will not take
initiative to change their situation because they feel trapped in their own
lives.
I think I am one of those people
who are looking for something more than just a ring on it and a bunch of babies
to take care of. I am aiming high as I wait for my right wrong person, I know
for sure he will not be perfect but what really matters to be is if he want to
evolve and become a better version of himself, if he will love me and will
respect and honor me, if he will absolutely be true to me give me my freedom
of expression and let me fly in the development of my own talents. If he will
not try too hard to be someone he is not just to impress me. If he will not
over think every little thing I say just to make sure he proves me wrong at the
end of the day. When I find that person I will know for sure the rest of my
life has arrived. But until then I will enjoy my life as it is.
Cheers!!!
