Life, it is said, is a journey laden with lessons. Some of us fall and stand up, some falter and wallow in self-pity, others choose the carefree path while others decide to deal with everything that life throws at them. Whatever the case scenario, we can all agree that we need to push forward in the face of adversity. We need to recognize that we own the decisions we make and how your life turns out is more or less the total summation of the choices and decisions you make. I know this pretty well and in as much as I can’t vouch that I have made all the right decisions along the way, the lessons have been instrumental in the trajectory my life has taken of late.
No doubt, I have made some pretty stupid decisions, I have mistaken affection for loyalty along the way, I have thrown away priceless relationships, I have revelled in instant success and gratification and I have been at the lowest a mortal can be in life. Looking back, it was all worth it. Every little experience, every painful encounter, every nostalgic moment shaped who I am today. In other words, I have learnt a lot in the 20 something years I have been in this universe.
Family is strongest support system
Make no mistake. Your family is your greatest support system. When the chips are down, when your back is against the wall, when no one else wants to associate with you, your family will always come through. When everyone else turns their back on you, when you are sickly and a shadow of your former self, when everyone despises you and sneers at you, you will always find homage in your family. You will always be accepted, nurtured and find unconditional love in your family. Love your family, check up on them every once in a while, interact with cousins, nephews and nieces every once in a while. Check how your aging parents are doing. Call them every once in a while just to say “hi and I love you”. At the end of the day, they will always come through for you no matter what.
Choose Friends wisely
I don’t mean to be sadistic or anything but I have learnt that it’s good to keep a small circle of friends. As I always say, it’s good to keep a small circle of friends. The fewer, the better. It’s a fact of life that friends come in different shades. There are those who will sing you praises because you happen to buy them a couple of beers at the bar every weekend. There are those who genuinely care for you and genuinely care about you (these are the kind that are concerned about your well-being. The kind that give you advice and encourage you to soldier on even when the going is tough). There are those who are backstabbers, the hangers on, the gold diggers - Everything about them is fake. Granted, discerning a true and fake friend is somewhat difficult. However, you don’t have to scratch deeper on the surface to tell fake friends. Surround yourself with people who make a positive impact in your life.
Don’t take your health for granted
Don’t shrug that nagging headache that keep showing up every 2 days. Don’t take for granted your ulcers condition or resort to over the counter medications every time you encounter a familiar disease symptom. It could be a precursor to something huge. Don’t take for granted the fact that you can move your limbs effortlessly, wake up in the morning and stretch your body or even run when you feel like it. Trust you me, having a good health is a gift that more often than not, we do not give God credit enough. If you can afford, go for full medical check-up every once in a while. You will only realise that good health is a gift when you are lying in that hospital bed unable to move a limb.
Nothing is ever that serious
So you didn’t hack that job interview? So your relationship didn’t turn out as expected? So your favourite football team lost? So you lost a great business deal or a big client of yours left? Come on! Relax! Nothing is ever that serious. Like seriously, do not lose sleep over something you don't have control over. Don’t linger for so long on the closed door but look ahead for new opportunities.
Everything in life is temporary including the problems you might be encountering right now. There will always be another job interview, there will always be another game, and the storm won’t stay for long. In fact, I have noticed that we tend to create a mountain out of a mole hill as regards our problems. Relax buddy; nothing is ever that serious.
Your current situation is not permanent
Do not fret or get worried on end because nothing seems to work. You might be down there struggling through school or your business start-up or anything imaginable. Don’t lose hope. It’s only for a while and sooner or later things will be fine; better. Don’t get worried when you are going through difficult times. Don’t turn back when you encounter problems and challenges in life. After all, challenges shape our lives and teach us valuable lessons.
Today you might only be affording one meal a day or you might be living in squalid conditions but that doesn’t mean that that’s how things will always be. Consider what you are going through now a storm that will pass in due time. Above all, have a positive attitude, be confident in yourself and your abilities and before you know it, you will have weathered the storm.
Don’t change for anyone
It is okay for you to try and fit in. However, don’t be somebody you are not simply because you want to appease someone or simply because you want to be accepted into a circle. If you do so, you will only end up being a slave of your circumstances. If you are going through a tough marriage, pack and leave. You don’t have to be unhappy because you are worried what the society will say. Accept who you are and don’t make apologies for it.
Work on self-improvement
Knowledge is power. Shatter the glass ceilings, go against the grain and knock down doors if you must but never let the embers of your dreams fizzle out. Read and acquire as much knowledge as you can. Trust you me, it gives you power, confidence, and enables you to have a positive outlook in life. I understand reading is not your thing or probably you loathe it with passion. However, if you nourish your body with food on a daily basis, endeavour to nourish your mind and soul with knowledge. Endeavour to learn something new every single day. I promise you won’t regret it. I have never regretted it.
Happiness is your portion
Happiness is what you make it. Do what makes you happy and don’t have any apologies for it. Go out every once in a while and be wild. Dance to music you love, spend time with people who matter to you, go to the countryside every once in a while. In other words, endeavour to do what brings you fulfilment. You love travelling? Swimming? Road trips? Picnics? Go ahead and do it. Life is too short to be rigid!
Be respectful and humble
I have learnt that respect is effortless. Respect your elders, respect your age mates, respect your juniors and so on and so forth. I mean, it costs nothing to be respectful. Don’t be so proud. Remember that at some point in your life you didn’t have what you have now. Be humble and you will see God doing wonders in your life. You are not the first person to get a first class degree. You are not the first person to live in an upmarket estate. You are not the first person to drink Ksh. 20,000 bottle of wines.
Be humble, respectful and have a positive attitude towards life. Remember that everything in life is vanity. Billionaires become broke, businesses end up in receiverships, and beautiful girls come and go. Don’t feel so special. All is vanity.
Develop a saving culture and don’t shelve that business idea
So you have a business idea? Go for it! A few years down the line, you will regret why you never put that business idea you have now into motion. Save as much as you can. You never know what will happen tomorrow.
In a nutshell, whatever happens in your life, always ensure that you have a positive attitude and learn from your mistakes. Till next time, adios!
