The kind of women I hate

Before you interject and brand me unprintable names for saying things the way I see them from my perspective, allow me state that each and every single one of us has personal tastes and preferences. Of course, I haven’t apprehended you for liking brown ladies, tall, slender, fat or those with a smile made from heaven. Its within your rights to admire, to like, to lust at, and to inadvertently ride with whatever woman that fits your bill of the “politically correct”. That being said, am not here today to express my undying love to the kind of women species that make my world go round.

On the contrary, am here to shed light on the kind of women who are a no-no for me, the kind that are a turn off for me (not that I don't really like being turned on). 

The bitch

Of course every guy wants a bitch woman, the kind that takes them to heaven while they are still on earth. But that’s as far as it goes. No one wants a Bitch as a wife. If you want to be a bitch, then be a bitch in our bedroom and not to the whole male fraternity. You want to wear micro-minis, walk around with no panties, flash your boobs and do the ooooh aaaahs? Why not do it within the confines of our bedroom or matrimonial bed? But if your idea of a bitch is riding every tom dick and harry, you are probably not on my radar.

The sleaze

Wondering if you fit the bill? I couldn’t care less. I hate women who overdo make up, who believe they are God ordained to wear every make up that arrives on the market. The kind that wear scantily, are over flirtatious and generally think they are God’s gift to the male species. I mean there is nothing as scary as sleeping in makeup and wake up like you were auditioning for a horror movie. If I can’t like you in your natural state, chances are that make up will only take me as far as getting into your pants but will definitely not keep me there. I hate sleazy women-the kind that thrive on cosmetics and have nothing original to write home about.

The dominator

Of course I have no problem with a dominant woman in bed (I think it has to do with my kinkiest wildest fantasy). You want to tie me on the bed and do all those stuffs that movies are made of? Hell yeah bring it on! But I hate the dominant kind of women who think men are properties to be managed. The kind that literally want to run your life and cannot accept any form of compromise. They determine where they want you to go; whom you should talk to, how to spend your cash……I mean what the hell! I was doing just fine before you came along! Dominators or in other words controlling freaks are a no-no for me!

The Stalkers

Yes I understand you have self esteem issues and in some twisted way you believe stalking is the best strategy to win a man. Of course showing up at joints I frequent and trying too hard won’t make me like you let alone love you. I believe you’ve heard the phrase that men are visual creatures, we respond more to what we see than how we reason. If by any chance you didn’t arouse anything in me the first time I lay my eyes on you, what makes you think your pathetic appearance everywhere I go will change my opinion of you? Tafakari hayo!

The slobs

I don’t need to reiterate the need for a woman to be hygienic. Oh yes, unhygienic women are a no-no for me. You have to be in control, you have to be clean and your house also needs to be clean! I mean do your hair, do your nails and don’t look a mess! I believe many men will agree with me that a slob woman is a no-no. I can’t share a blanket with you if you are smelling like you come from a sewage. Don’t just invest in make ups and perfumes! Spare time to clean yourself too!

The naggers

You like complaining about everything? You are always running your mouth for some imaginable things? Cammon! That does not make me love you neither does it bring me closer to you. And I believe I speak for many men, nagging women simply snuff the air out of a man’s life. They run their mouths right left and center, are insecure maybe and simply see negativity in every situation. They are the ultimate vixens. Oh if someone knew how to put a zip on their mouths!

The professional fuckers

This is for the women who believe they can’t achieve anything worthwhile in life without spreading their legs. The kind that offer their bodies for a job opportunity, for a job promotion or simply to find favor in the eyes of the boss! Of course, men will enjoy the honey pot while it lasts. I have got news for such ladies-its time they started using their brains rather than what is between their legs. My crystal ball is that its short term….it never lasts!

Abortion specialists

I dislike or rather am contemptuous of women who believe their calling in life is getting pregnant for every tom dick and harry and thereafter procuring an abortion. I mean what would make a woman abort 2,3,4,5 times? If you love to be fucked so much or simply can’t resist the allure of sex, please insist on a condom. And yes, if you think a condom inhibits the sweetness of the honey, please try family planning. Of course ukimwi (aids) is your next best alternative. But it’s better than killing hapless fetuses!

The venomous woman 

Actually this was brought to my attention by my very good friend and sister from another mother +angeline kado. She quips that the venomous women are “the type that go around killing people and literally, causing spiritual deaths (read stabbing and tearing down the very souls of the people in their lives) These will stop at nothing when it comes to discouraging, demeaning, ridiculing and belittling other people. They are more or less bullies that think their self esteems can be raised by treading, squashing and crushing the beings of others mostly by the venomous words their tongues spit.”

 

Of course I can drab on and on on the women I hate.  After all, we all have likes and dislikes. Generally, I don’t hate the female species. I just tend to have my own reservations which if you asked me is within my rights. Irresponsible, ignorant, irrational and women who think they are demigods simply don’t work for me. And by the way, what kind of women do you hate? Food for thought!

By the way....

It is Monday afternoon, October 14, sitting here looking at a picture that was taken years ago. A picture of someone I knew or I like to think I knew. He looks contented, happy, strong and smart. I begin to wonder, what if pictures could show a soul of a person? What if it could show their intentions? What if it could tell if a person is hiding something? May be people would stop lying; people would be more sincere, more faithful.  May be then love would not be painful to anyone and no one would be hurt. I know not everyone has been here but once in a lifetime you will be broken by love. It will tear you down, making you doubt its existence.

It is so frustrating, the reality and the cold truth that there can never be roses without thorns. I don't know why we are never brought up with this truth, why they fill us with garbage about romantic love stories of happily ever after. It starts so early when we are still too young to figure out the truth on our own. They tell us about love and how beautiful it is, how perfect it should be, how fulfilling it is, no one bothers to warn us about the painful part of it yet everyone must go through it.  We grow up, hoping to have the best of it, find a prince charming and live happily ever after and boom!!! We hit the reality that once you love you have given another person a weapon that can s/he can use to hurt you in a way you never imagined.

Like most girls, i grew up looking for that day I will meet my prince charming, someone who will make me happy and someone i will spend the rest of life with. By the time I was in my teen age I had a check list, yeah a list of all the qualities I would want my man to possess. I was all set to look for him, I didn't want to be destructed, I made sure every time I was out  on a date with some guy I would go through my check list to know if he was the one. Then I realized none of the guys I was dating had them (well there were few who had  some qualities but never all), so I started to reduce some of the things I thought I could live without, the longer it took to find that person the shorter the list became. In the end I had only one item left, He had to be straight.

With one item on my checklist it was obvious everyman around me could fit in to it. I had to come up with something else.  As I was thinking what would differentiate my prince charming from the rest of male species it occurred to me that a good relationship was never about the sense of humor or intelligent or  being attractive and wealthy. It was about avoiding partners with harmful traits and personality types, the kind of partners who might choke you in your sleep. So this was so much easier than my check list. Mmmmh it was time to get into a serious relationship, but then there was one problem, even though these partners seemed good and all that, most of them were not faithful. I was broken over and over again.

Dear diary, I don't even know why am telling you this or the point of this conversation. Anyway there are times when you think you have found love when in reality you have found a person who can love you in some situations and cannot love you in other situations… some kind of conditional love, or people who can love you but you will never be enough for them. They will always want something else from someone else. Sometimes I wish someone would have warned be about all these, like the way a baby is warned about one of those sharp shiny objects. Warned about how their shiny nature can blind someone but their edges can cut in a way one never imagined.  See you soon.

How I see it

Dear diary,

I don't pretend to know about all kinds of men women hate but I will tell you what kind of men I really hate. I know the word hate might sound extreme but I hate them and I wish there was a stronger word to express how I feel about some male species the obviously landed on a wrong planet. First of all I want you to promise me whatever i'm going to say will remain a secret between us, somehow my people do not believe on freedom of speech when it comes to women I think it’s because all the rules are made by men, if they ever find out I said this I don't know what will happen to me. May be they will stroke me naked in front of the village and I will become an outcast from that day on. But am going to take the risk anyway, after all, I have learned that it is alright to say something is not working for you if it is not working and since no one is willing to listen to me, am here to tell you what is not working for me.

First of all I hate men who abuse women physically, emotionally, sexually or whatever kind of abuse you may name it. Most men in this group will come home from whatever holes they come from and raise their hands to the ladies that they once claimed to love with no shame.  They throw punches at women they are supposed to protect causing physical injuries that sometimes may result to permanent disabilities; some even go to an extent of beating their women to death for whatever reason they may decide to come up with, what a tragedy.  How could men be so heartless?? How do one beat a pregnant woman without even caring about the safety of your own child.

And then there those men who would go around forcing themselves on everything that is moves, they would sexually abuse their women, young girls, young boys  and even animals. Really?? I got news for you; there are women everywhere who offer that service in exchange of a really small amount of money, you can quencher your thirsty there and leave our children alone. Rumor has it that, there are some witch doctors who instructs men to rape young girls/ boys as a condition for them to be rich (I wonder why haven't they made themselves rich while they know the way to the land of the rich). And then there are those men with a stupid belief that, once you are infected with HIV they can only get cured if you have sex with a virgin girl....seriously?? Whoever is in this group I hope you know you are a disgrace to your grandmother, your mother, your sisters, your daughters and granddaughters not to mention your wife.

I hate irresponsible men, you know the kind of men who impregnate a girl and abandon her, and then when the child is old enough they come looking for them saying they are the father, I mean what do you think a father is.....?? In case you didn't know being able to impregnate a girl does not make you a father, it is the courage to raise that baby that makes you a father. This group include those that I call useless fathers, they have children and by God's grace they didn't abandon the mother but then they are there as a burden, they don't care if their family eat or sleep hungry, they don't know where the school fees come from, all they know is alcohol, alcohol and more alcohol. Whatever penny they earn they use it to buy alcohol and with no shame demand for food when they get home.

I am disgusted by men who view women as a property, yeah I know you do pay dowry when you marry me but that does not mean am your property and no, you cannot treat as you please, I am a woman, a strong woman and I should be treated with respect. Whatever you pay cannot even cover a quarter on sleepless nights my parents spent when I was sick, it does not even cover the medical bills that they paid to make sure i'm healthy again, it does not cover even a quarter of my school fees so in case you didn't know you are not buying anyone because if it was buying you couldn't afford anyone.  The same goes to men who sell their daughters as if they are animals to be bought; those who put a price tag on their daughters from the moment they pop out of their mother’s womb, then they go around looking for the highest bidder without caring to the safety of your daughters, Shame on you.

 Yeah I hate man who sleeps around with anything that moves, the kind of man who cannot control their sexual desires, the kind of men who think their manhood is judged by the number of women they sleep with. I pity them; they don’t know they are risking their own lives. The funny thing is sometimes these men don't even have strength to be fucking around and they opt to use Viagra just to do whatever they think they do best. Here is my advice to those who use Viagra, there is a Swahili saying that says “Mbuzi hula urefu wa kamba yake” (a got can only graze to the length of his rope) if it goes further than that it will be strangled. So just use the strength God has given you, whatever extra energy you are looking for will kill you some day.

Am irritated by lazy men, the kind of men who don't want to work or earn their own money. This has a big problem to the current generation. You man find a decent guy, young, energetic, smart as you can imagine but guess what he does for a living, GOLD DIGGING!!! Yeah I know you might be surprised that there are actually male gold diggers but take it from me they are there. All they want to do is to be a parasite to some rich woman. They don't care about the age, they just want women who have money, to feed them, clothe them, give them pocket money and in turn they fulfill those women’s sexual desires, shame on them.

Last but not least, I hate gay men. You can call me old fashioned but am sorry being gay is wrong in so many ways. It is against traditions, religion and even nature. And this is how I see it .Ciao!!

Experiencing the world of Escorts.............

As strange as it might sound, I had heard of the word escort a million times before. In my subconscious mind back then, I couldn’t understand why there was so much buzz and excitement as relates to it. I ignorantly believed that an escort was someone who could escort someone somewhere, a companion, a friend or simply an acquaintance. It never occurred to me that there were indeed people who were escorts by profession that their job was simply to bring peoples fantasies to life and usher them into the life of untamed fantasies. I know that every man has got some kind of weird twisted fantasies. Somehow, we all crave for things germane, some fantasies that exist deep down our souls.

We crave to have a super model as a companion, sometimes we inwardly wish for a super high class model to accompany us to trips, a beautiful high class escort to accord us the perfect girl friend experience and in some cases, a glamorous escort model to usher us into the world of untamed fantasies. From time immemorial, men have been (and rightly so) regarded as visual creatures. We respond to what we see and most likely desire women based on what we see. We are awed, struck and amazed by sheer beauty, elegance and flawless physique of a woman. Sometimes we make the ultimate mistake of making a long term decision based on what we see and how it best appeals to kinky sexual desires. Either way, the good thing is that we have come to reconcile our rather consistent weaknesses with the reality on the ground.

Ever wondered why men use love as a means of getting sex and women use sex as a way to get love? Well, it’s not fiction. Apparently, women are emotional creatures while men are without doubt visual creatures. Before you apprehend me for being a chauvinist, allow me to tell you why both men and women use each others weakness as a means towards an end. When a woman uses sex to get love and acceptance, it basically means that she is taking a man’s weakness to her advantage. The reverse is also true. We are all wicked, crooked and by extension immensely selfish.

Leaving that alone, escorts are sumptuous, beautiful and elegant women whom as some men might say, are God’s gift to the male fraternity. They make a man’s world go round. They not have the beauty but also have the brains. I know some women (especially wives) have reservations as to the role that escorts play. Truth be told, they play a very important role in making the world a better place. If you are a man and have been thinking of bringing out your fantasy to life, glamorous escort models are all you need.

Am not telling you to go to some dingy backstreet harlots! Nuh on the contrary, am talking about professional escorts who can be of great assistance especially if you are in a foreign country, a new place and all alone. Rather than going for the same boring tour guides, you can always settle for an escort model to act as your tour guide. They not only add flavor to your trip but also make it worth remembering. Escorts can accompany you to raunchy dinners, to the movies, business meetings and can simply give you the perfect girl friend experience!

I don’t know about you, I don’t know about your fantasies, I have no knowledge of your religious inclination, your beliefs or the so called principles! I am a liberal and I believe in having an open mind. We only have one life to live so make the most of it while you can! I rest my case!

Devil in disguise.....

Dear diary,

It has been said “the lover you fall in love with and the lover you break up with are two different people”. I never really gave a thought to this idea until it happened to me, to one of my friends, to my sister and to my cousins. Somehow we all fell in to the trap of people who wore the skin of a sheep but in the inside they were wild dogs.  They would come to us pretending they had our best interest at hearts, sometimes shed crocodile tears that would make us feel worthless and bad lovers but they were just using our weaknesses to get what they really wanted. They didn't care if we were alive or we were dead, they didn't love us neither did they have any respect for our feelings. They were selfish and self centered.

There are two ways to be fooled: one is to believe what isn't true and the other one is not to believe what is true. I guess somehow we were fooled in both ways though I like to think I was blinded by the love I had for him. I know you are wondering what I am talking about, well am just thinking loudly about this guy I broke up with many years ago after I found out he was a liar, a fake and a Kisheshere/Kadinya (that is how we call people who sleep around where I come from :) pun not intended). I had not thought of this painful moment for a really long time until I bumped in to my friend Derrick (not his real name) in a club yesterday, drinking the night away. I had never seen him alone and in a club ever since he got engaged... he was always with his beautiful fiancee Deborah.  After greetings I asked him where Deborah was. He looked at me and said “how could I be so blind? How couldn't I see all these before while it was just in front of me?? How did I become so blind to the obvious...” I didn't understand what he meant so I suggested we go somewhere less noisy so that he could tell me what he means by all these and he agreed.

Cafe la aziz -that was our spot. I don’t know why he chose the spot; perhaps its because that is where he met Deborah for the first time. After we made ourselves comfortable he looked at me and said. “ this is where it all began, I saw Deborah in this cafe for the first time... three years ago, from the moment I saw her I knew there was something special about her, I didn't approach her then until three weeks later when we met in a conference. She was as beautiful as I saw her the first time but this time there was something more about her, I think it was her brains; she was one of the key speakers in the conference I was attending to. How she made her presentation, it was just perfect. After the conference I introduced myself to her, asked her if we could go through my presentation that I was to make the next day, she agreed. Well it is not like I really needed her help, I just wanted to spend time with her, know her better and may be to make her like me.

There is a strange thing about my heart desires; my heart never knows what it desires until it turns up. After spending that evening with Deborah I knew she was what my heart had desired for a very long time. I was not looking for her and yet she was the one. After just one month we were lovers... I should have questioned my self about that but didn't because I was too desperate to satisfy my heart desires. I became so blind to so many things, like how I would call her at night and she would never pick up only to tell me she was fast asleep, and then there are those night I would call and someone from the other side would pick up but not speak, not forgetting the strange calls that I would get from guys asking me who I was to Deborah. I ignored them, now that I think about it I feel so stupid. She knew my weaknesses and used them to bring me to my knees every time I was close to the truth.

I know you are wondering what am talking about, well truth be said, Deborah is a whore; she has been sleeping around with men. Not just men but married men, she does that for money. She screwed her bosses all the way to the top position.” At this point my mouth had dropped to the floor. Then he continued “ I gave Deborah everything I had, I even gave her my credits cards to use as she pleased, I bought her the most expensive clothes, gave her a house, treated her like a queen, loved her in a way I don’t think will be possible to love someone else and she still cheated on me, on us.

Dear diary, everyday of our life is made of moments and choices. There are moments that do not matter or have any lasting impacts. But there are those moments that once they happen things are irrevocable changed and we begin to regret the choices that brought us to such moments. These moments will play endlessly in our minds on those lonely nights and empty days. Sometimes one can try to find a small sign to justify our failure to make better choices hopping the pain will subside somehow. It is so painful when you give your all to someone and they are there just to use you. 

One thing I know for sure is, the damage done by a cheating partner is permanent; there will always be those scars that remind you of his/ her unfaithfulness. Even though these scars may fade over time, there will always be a part of your mind that will remind you of how painful it had been. May be it is because even though we feel as if  this pain came from our partner's betrayal,  it actually came from inside us for our failure to see their true colors  Let me end here today..i will see u when you see me.

Love…………………….

Hitherto, love to me was an alien concept, an illusion, a fabrication of the mind, a means towards an end and simply put; a temporary form of madness. I have never been the kind of person to laud love, to celebrate it let alone do stupid things in the name of love. I can’t quite recall whether this was informed by genetic makeup or whether it was simply a behavior exhibited by a person who was yet to experience the true meaning of love. To me, love was itself an illness that could only afflict others but not me. I considered myself immune, indifferent and by extension aloof in matters concerning love. 

This, as I came to learn many years later, was an act of ignorance. Indeed, whoever coined the phrase ignorance is bliss was not a fool. I was ignorant, indifferent to the fact that love forms part and basis of my very existence. I realized albeit too late that am a product of love, that every sphere of my life is informed by love. I am what I am today because of the affection, the love, the warmth accorded to me by my parents, my friends, and sometimes even strangers. For long, I held the notion that romantic love is what defines love. I derided the notion that other forms of love such as filial love and agape love are what made life meaningful.

Many are the times we run away from love, make excuses as to why we can’t love and inadvertently take a sabbatical on all issues related to love. We take pleasure in running away from love, allowing opportunities to escape us, give away people who have changed us completely and simply become indifferent to acts of love. I don’t know why this seems as an easy route, why people prefer switching off their humanity or embark on the path of destruction. I have come to realize that life has no meaning if you keep running away from love. It absolutely makes no sense running from the very thing that gives you a purpose, a form of fulfillment and contentment.

Many wet their pillows at night all in the name of love, some wear a mask that they are indifferent to love but inwardly crave for it. We have basically become a pack of pretenders. We have taken the word love literally and in the process hurt so many people. We betray our friends, our parents and basically are strangers to our very existence. We use love as a means to get something. It could be acceptance, sex, friendship or anything that is of importance to us at the moment.

What we often forget to realize is that love is central in our lives, its priceless, timeless and the very thing that adds purpose to our lives. It makes the world a better place to live in, makes us to live in harmony and to be contented. Our inability to love is why we live in constant fear of other peoples actions; the world is insecure because people do take for granted the virtue of love. There are massive killings, heartaches simply because people have not embraced what love is. Love unites us, gives us a sense of purpose, fulfillment as well as contentment.

It’s never too late to tell someone you love them, how they make your life more meaningful or the role they play to make it more fulfilling. In the final analysis, love conquers everything; it overcomes tribal prejudices, color, short comings and indeed makes everything amazing and beautiful. If you are truly happy and in love, do everything you can to safeguard that love. At the end of the day, LOVE defines our lives J and adds meaning to it!