Nostalgic Memories

I still recollect that day like it happened yesterday. While the events leading to it were quite unexpected, I can’t help the feeling that it was truly magical. It’s the kind of stuff that movies are made of, the kind that escapes logic and truly amazing. You probably are wondering what am talking about, intuitively wondering what this fantasy boy is alluding to. Allow me to bring you up to speed. About two years ago, I had an interesting encounter in the most hopeless of places. I have always used social media as an avenue to bring out the other side of mine-the side that people close to me rarely know about. I get controversial, cross lines that I would ordinarily not cross, engage in cat fights for the sake of it (pun not intended), brain storm with a few intellectual friends of mine, bring out the mischievous side of me among many others.

It’s my way of breaking the monotony of boredom and reaching out. For a long time, this had become my past time favorite activity, something I did to pass time when office work became a routine or rather when I just wanted to shut everything in my life out. As fate would have it, I accepted a friend request from a woman I rarely or rather barely knew. In my wildest of dreams, it didn’t occur to me that the act would change the scope, the direction and the general outlook of my life forever. Looking back, I can’t help but nod my head in agreement at how “sic” the whole thing was. Gradually, we began to engage with this miss FW (yeah I would call her that dear diary) talking about virtually everything on earth.

We were cool friends, with our own individual problems, tribulations, harrowing experiences and above all fronting to the world a life both of us barely knew of. You probably are thinking “oh this is the ‘hi sexy, I find you hot’ kind of conversations” you are damn wrong! It was never about the looks, the physique, the allure of the smile, the tight dresses, fake make ups and all that kind of stuff. It was purely a match made from heaven (pun not intended). I was struck by her condor, her sense of charisma, her easy life approach, simplicity, and the fact that we shared a lot in common. To cut a long story short, one thing led to the other and before I knew it, she became a permanent feature in my life, a dependable partner, a friend, a companion, my confidant, my drug, my addiction.

I constantly looked forward to when we could talk, exchange ideas, knowledge, laugh away our tribulations, share experiences and basically update one another on what was happening in our lives. What I didn’t know was that I was fast drifting into the terrain of love. I found myself constantly lonely when she was away, I sat waiting for her, I was never disappointed, I loved her company, loved the way she talked to me, and how she made me a better person, a better man. Everything was perfect, complete and lovely. In as much as I downplayed the whole lovy dovy feeling, there was no denying my heart was beating for her. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman, everything I found irresistible. She had the brains, the intellect, the business acumen, the personality, the allure and the character to make my days bright.

Before I knew it, she became a permanent aspect of my life. She was not only my love but also my best friend. Everything was going on well until fate started conspiring against us (well I can’t think of a better explanation). Here i am, bemoaning all the lost opportunities, thinking over and over again wondering what would become of me. I am about to leave, to go to a faraway place, and start a new life albeit for a short while. As things are, I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me or us. I find myself wondering what it is I could have done differently, what it is held me or us back. Right now, the foreseeable future looks bleak. I can’t begin to fathom the risks of leaving her behind, I can’t gauge whether I will manage alone without her.

That I love her is not in doubt. I have severally stated the same. I can’t think of a time I felt so confident, felt so complete, and felt so elated. It’s like I have been reborn anew. All I think of is being with her. Could fate have dealt me a fatal blow? Nuh I refuse to accept that. Dear diary, I felt the need to pen my anguish today not because I find it exciting but because I cannot pent up the avalange of emotions boiling inside. Am alone, lonely, saddened and feeling dejected. I look outside the window and wonder if life is fair. For long, I rallied myself with the naysayers; the kind that advocate for what others before them did. I took solace in advancing the same principles but now am wiser.

I know that its cognizant I chart my own destiny, to make my own way, to advance my own principles.  In that wavelength, alluding that life is unfair to me would be cowardly, demeaning to say the least. I know that things have a reason as to why they happen. Yes, I admit am at a cross road but if am to come out victorious, then I need to hold my head above the water. I must live to fight another day and keep the fire burning. I refuse to let the happenings so far cloud my judgment! Miss FW is the woman I love and am going to do everything to keep it that way irrespective of the many challenges! I rest my case!