A Love Letter to My Mother

Dear Fridah

I know this will come as a surprise to you considering that I never was the kind of son to acknowledge anything worthwhile. I’m profusely apologetic that it has taken me a quarter a century to acknowledge the towering role you have played in my life. I look back with nostalgia and can’t help but marvel at the great sacrifices you made so that I could grow up an upright person. Am sorry that I detested the many canes you accorded my back when I veered off the good path. I am sincerely apologetic for sulking on end and cooking up some twisted thoughts that you hated me.

I do realize now that though I was the black sheep of the family, you never gave up on me. You stood by me even when my body was raging with hormones and all I wanted was to make my own decisions. It pains me that I have never really told you how much I adore you, how much an astute woman you are and what a pillar of strength you’ve been in my life. To even imagine that a string of women have had the pleasure of hearing me express my undying love to them firsthand pains to say the least. 

Dear mother, I still remember fondly when you bathed me, clothed me and ensured that I had enough to eat. I still remember you denying yourself so many things so that I could have enough. Back in the days, I had not learnt about economics, or inflation or the impact of the cost of living. I always wondered why I could eat chicken everyday like our next door neighbor. I couldn’t understand why you said you had no money. I just couldn’t grasp the concept of money, the elephant of unemployment or the fact that you didn’t earn enough to accord me the life that I conjured up in my mind. 

I am sorry that at some point in my teenage years I felt ashamed of you, I felt like you were old age, backward somehow and out of touch with reality. I am sorry that I couldn’t understand why we had to take githeri rather than go out for kuku and chips. I am sorry that I couldn’t understand when you bought me plastic shoes when the shop had a lot of good leather shoes. I am sorry that I didn’t appreciate the mornings you woke up early just to ensure that I had everything before going to school. Now that I look back, you were everything I would want the mother of my children to be. The sacrifices, the innate desire to see me succeed were simply an act of true love. I humbly say thank you dear mother.

Today, I woke up in the morning and realized that I have not been thankful for all the responsibilities, for all the debts you accrued in the name of making my life comfortable. I took out the family album and felt a tinge of sadness that I haven’t done enough to say thank you. Though you never had an education to write home about, you did everything to see me through school. You rejoiced with me every time I came top of my class. I still remember you buying me a bicycle as you had promised when I passed my K.C.P.E. In my stupidity back then, I wasn’t grateful for the sacrifices you had made to buy me that bicycle. I wasn’t grateful for the black mamba you bought me. In my mind I wondered why you couldn’t buy me a mountain bike yet it was the in-thing.

I thought you were unfashionable. I am sorry that I even harbored the thoughts that you had short changed me. This new year, and after all these years, I do realize what a great mother you have been to me. I do realize that I haven’t expressed my love for you enough. I do realize that I haven’t been unthankful, been wayward and been too hard on you most of my life. I love you for bringing me up right, I am grateful for the fact that you made sure I had everything even though you earned a meager salary. I am forever grateful that you worked long hours in your small business just to accord me the life you never had.

Dear mother, I know this is coming a bit too late but I believe you will appreciate my sincere apologies for acting as a child, for never knowing what you had to go through just to be what I am today. I just wanted to let you know that in spite of everything you went through, you can rest assured that I turned out just right. I know I might be difficult at times, I know I am not as religious as you are, I don’t go to church as often as you would love me to, I don’t visit often but one thing is for sure-I LOVE YOU DEAR MOTHER. To all dear friends, appreciate your mother while you still can! Don’t wait to write a colorful eulogy or tribute! Have a fabulous day!