Being a woman in Africa

It is hard to be a woman in Africa,

I can’t have an education or it will make me love it over my marriage and make me to be the head of the home.

I can’t have a job, because I will become proud and not submissive.

I can’t have a job that pays more than my husband because it’s an insult to his man hood; he will be emasculated and one day I will use it to rubbish him out side.

I cant be single at 25, unmarried by 30 and don’t have a single child at 35; it will mean am cursed, have a spiritual husband or I have had a bad character and no man want to be with me.

Any achievement of mine is a waste and useless if I don’t have a boyfriend or a husband and it will make me more arrogant and unattractive to men.

Heaven forbid that I have a house or a car for the same affirmations!!! The only place I can leave is my parents’ house until I get married.

Only loose women stays in a hotel.

If my job requires I travel, I have to stay with an elderly couple; friends or relatives who can talk to me about this my job and how it will not allow me settle in one place and marry.

Expensive things are not allowed, I can’t marry quick with them, I can’t speak on anything under the sun unless I have a ring on my finger and a baby who has sucked my breast .

If my boyfriend or husband cheats on me, I must endure it and manage.. All men are the same and there no good ones around anymore.

Whatever my husband or even my stupid boyfriend that does not know left or right does, I must agree.

It’s as if the moment we got together I lost my sense of reasoning and purpose in life, his word even if foolish is love and I must die to please him and obey him.

How dare do I expect my husband hire a maid or ask any one aside me to clean?

What did he marry me for?

How dare do I dream of a husband who cooks and clean?? Am I mad? Is that not witch craft? Why should he take care of the children while I sleep, travel or go out? Is he my maid or my servant?

Ooh when it comes to being a good wife, I must not forget to cook fresh soup every day, wear makeup, heels and sexy dresses or be naked everyday…

I must learn how to shake my waist like my life depend on it and be ready for sex all the time… do I want him to go outside and cheat??

He can do anything because am a useless and stupid woman

The walls fall apart because am a useless and stupid woman.

The marriage end because am a useless and stupid woman.

My husband cheats and beats me up because am a useless and stupid woman.

The children grow up horrible because am a useless and stupid woman.

I am a useless and stupid woman because am a useless and stupid woman.

Its bad enough men think this way, but to see women think this same way and fight against people who struggle to raise awareness on women's rights, like they are the next Malcom X, Luther or Madiba is shocking and sad. 

May be one day things will get better. I pray it gets better because anyone who says these trash affirmation to my babies will hear it from me. 

Why Men should marry women above 35 years

The younger the better; it’s what every man says and believes. For years, men have been in relationship or even getting married to women who could be their daughters and granddaughters as long as their age is below 35 years. Societies have been quick to embrace relationships with high age discrepancy provided the older of the two participants is a man and not woman. These are the kind of relationships people call normal.

However, there is a new normal that I think all people should embrace because of its benefits to both partners. Yeah I know you might not agree with me now but maybe you should comprehend my reasons first. Just like you, I come from a society where a young man being in relationship with an older woman above 35 is deemed unacceptable. In most instances, the man would normally be branded a gold digger.  I don’t know why any man would not value women above 35 years.

When women are above the age of 35 years, they seize to depend on their physical appearance to attract men. Instead, they study to be good and maintain their influence over men. They supply their diminution of beauty by an augmentation of utility. They learn to do a thousand services to their men both small and great. They become the most caring and tender creatures and not to forget useful friends who make it almost impossible to find a woman aver 35 years who is not a good woman.

For men who fear unplanned pregnancies, fear not. Most of these women already know what they want, how they want it and with whom, they know their bodies like the back of their palm, they can plan and decide if they should have a child with you or not. And in case they decide to have a child with you, don’t you worry because they won’t force you to provide for it since they always have a backup plan.

Women above 35 are always mature. If she doesn’t want to watch a game with you she doesn’t sit around whining about it or fight over a remote control with you. She finds something she wants to do because she already knows there is usually something more interesting than the game she does not enjoy or arguing with you.

Women above 35 yrs have no problem introducing you to their friends and neither do they ask you to live your friends for fear that they will teach you to be unfaithful. She has self assurance that her friends will not betray her and for that matter care less if you are attracted to them. They also know you are mature and can make your own decisions. Besides, they are psychic. You don’t have to confess your sins to them as they are always in the know and choose to ignore.

Women above 35 years are full of knowledge about life and everything that surround them. Their minds are simply better stored with life lessons from both experience and observation. Their conversation is more improved and gives points that hold water whenever they are involved in an argument.

In conclusion, women above 35 are experienced in all matters relationship- from the bedroom to child raising to everything. Not to mention they are prudent and discreet when in relationship which makes the commerce with them safer with regard to your reputation in case of an affair.