I wanted a perfect ending but now
I know some things are not meant to be, some hearts are meant to be broken,
some broken hearts never mend and some tears never dry. I know there is no
perfect ending for me at least not at this moment. I gave my best to it but it
never worked, it wasn't my fault neither was his. I know my heart even though
in pieces he still belongs to him. I cannot bring myself to hate him even if I
wanted to. He would do anything he wanted to me and I would let him; well he
still can. Sometime I think he has cast a spell on me because even if with all
this pain I know if he would walk in to his room and ask me to do something I
would break myself trying to make him happy, make him proud. My heart tells me
this is the best thing anyone could do to those they love, but my mind knows
the difference between wanting what you can’t have and wanting what you shouldn't want. And I know he is bad news for me...I shouldn't want him.
I promised I will let go of the
blame, I will no longer blame myself for the things that could have happened
but they didn't They say life is indeed a gamble, the ultimate game of chance,
based purely upon having the ability to make right choices at the right time. Making
wrong choices at a right time or right choices at a wrong time makes the whole
thing wrong even though it is part of the game. Even the best gamblers know
that no matter what sometimes you are going to mess up. It is the universal
truth but the good part is you can decide if you quit the game or keep trying
until you get it right. At this point am not sure what I want, if I am going to
quit or keep trying but once I have found my strength in the middle of this
weakness I will surely stand for something.
Dear diary, men are creatures
from another planet, they will come and go, they will try to understand you
until they cannot understand you anymore, they will teach you things that you will never learn in any other way even
though they are not trying to be your teacher, they are can be your friends or
act like it anyway. Sometimes they will love you, be your lover. I want you to
always remember that even these so called lovers will come and go. They will
break your heart at times but I hope you find your strength in the end. Nobody can
protect you from heart breaks; I guess it is part of being human.
Some will promise to love you
forever. Be very careful, forever can mean so many different things. It is
always changing depending on so many other aspects such as generations, technology,
races and gender. For some forever can mean hundred years but for others it can
mean just few minutes or days. I don’t mean to scare you but I want you to know
forever is not guaranteed, actually nothing is. So when you get that one person
you really love, live your life as if forever was ending tomorrow. Challenge who
you can be don’t late fate rule your life.
As for me, am just trying to find
myself, whatever that means. And from now on am going to be very careful with
the choices I make the people I surround myself with because they all affect my
life somehow and who I am for the rest of my life. See you soon.... love you.
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