We are born and we die but somewhere
in between we live. And how we live is entirely up to us. I never dated another
guy since Mohamed; I was just a loner who would seek comfort in a company of
movies. I had few friends that I could never open up to. For some reasons I preferred
male friends to female friends, I guess it is because they never asked me
stupid girls questions like who I was dating, where is my family, why do I wear
the same clothes every day, when I was planning to get married or even where
and how I lost my virginity.
You know, everything is more
complicated than it always seems you only get to see or know a very small
portion which is true but there are millions little strings attached to each
and every choice you make every day. You can destroy your life by the choice
you make today and you won’t even know it until it is too late. My choice to
have more of male friends than female friends was good at the time it served
the purpose of having friends who did not judge me. It was all okay until one
day I got a text from a friend of mine inviting me for a party at his place. I
was never a party girl but I really wanted to have the party experience since I didn't have any growing up. I spent the
whole week thinking of what to wear. When the day came I had bought myself a
sexy dress, it was black in color. I dressed up and went to a party.
When I got there, there was no
one except few of his friends, he told me he had to cancel the party and he
forgot to inform me but since I was already there then it would be good if we
watch a movie together. I agreed, after all I had nothing to do that night
apart from parting. We got inside the house. I as I sat there I noticed
something strange, I was the only girl. I wanted to leave but they wouldn't let
me it was already to lat to make that decision. My very good friend Jerome and arranged for me to be raped by him and his
six friends making a total to seven. It was 9:37 pm when they started, I
remember because I could see the clock from where they had pinned me down and I
was just wondering when all this would be over. They did it turns until I
passed out. I woke up the next morning outside my apartment, it was cold, they
had disposed my unconscious body there.
I cried so hard, I trusted Jerome
and this is what he did to me, it was as if he had reopened the wounds of my
childhood. For three days I didn't eat or got out of the house. I spent most
time in the bathroom trying to scrub off the layers of pain and shame hopping
it would make me feel better. But it didn't I tried to block all the painful
memories, but every time I went to bed my soul became consumed in a black void.
I no longer dreamt, nor did I let my
imagination word during the day. Every morning
I would tell myself I had one less day to live in this world.
Dear diary, if you learn to hate
one person eventually you will hate millions of people. I hated my fried for
what he did to me. A week later days I was diagnosed with Sexual transmitted diseases
and my doctor advised me to check of HIV/AIDS too in which I was found
positive. I don’t know how or where I got it but I was sure it was Never from Mohamed
since we were never intimate. May be it was from Jerome and his friends or from
the priest. Or from the cousin who raped me back then, but the one thing I knew
for sure I was done being a victim and I was going to get back at whoever was
involved in making my life a living hell.
They say when you start a journey
of revenge you must dig two graves; one for your enemy and another one for yourself.
They had already dug my grave... I was going to die anyway. I would rather know
we were all going to die than to know I was dying alone. Revenge was the only
thing that motivated me to stay alive then. I was a fighter who believed in the
devils rule of an eye for an eye. I had lost all respect for anyone who did not
hit back. I didn't care about forgiveness, forgiveness was not among my vocabularies..If
you killed my dog .. You better hide your cat..........
Read continuation "my revenge 5"
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