Powerless.....

Dear diary,

They say love is not a surge of passion but it is a choice to commit to something or someone no matter what life throws in your direction. It is the ability to keep making the same choice again and again, day in day out…. Year after year about that one person because your life is so much better with him in it that all the challenges seem like nothing. But even with all this there is nothing more heart breaking than seeing the one person that you love and care for the most, your reason for living and existing sinking into intense depression and pain, knowing there is nothing you can do about it.

Yeah I know there is a war inside each and every one of us, sometimes it is the only thing that keeps us alive and gives us courage to go on but at other times it threaten to destroy us completely. But I can not help to hate the helplessness feeling, the power less feeling I get when I watch the people I really love and care about being hurt and know there is nothing I can do about it. I want to help, to easy their pain to make them feel better….. but it like being tied to a chair forced to watch horrible things happening to the people you love.

You can feel their pain in you, because part of you is connected to them and their pain is your pain. Long time ago someone wise told me that, growing up is all about getting hurt and then getting over it. We get hurt and over it again and again but each time we learn something different, each time we come out a little stronger. Everyone is down to pain because pain is for the living, pain is a part of life, it’s a part of a big puzzle, the deep music the great game.

Even though there are times when we are powerless to prevent pain and misfortune to the ones we love, there should be no time when we fail to make them feel better and give them the courage they need to get through the difficult times by reminding them we will be walking with them through this difficult and rough road. Because at the end of the day each and every one of us have their own road to travel, we can walk with our loved ones on their rough road but no one can ever walk it for them even if we wanted to.

At times life can take unexpected twists and turns, sometimes through sheer happenstance and at times through calculated decisions. In all these some lives form a perfect circle, one that can easily be understood while others take a shape in ways we can never predict or even understand. Loss, fear of the unknown, being powerless has been a part of my journey to where I am today. But in all this, it has shown me what is precious, what is worth fighting for and what is not. There are times I held on to hate because I had nothing left to hold on to… there are times when I hated myself for everything that was happening to me. But in all this I have learned so much and today I am here to tell everyone who is going through a tough time that,

No matter what happens today, no matter how bad is seems, life goes on and there will be a better tomorrow eventually. I want you to know you are not alone in all this…. You will never be alone. I know it is difficult and it can seem unrealistic but I want you to promise yourself that you will be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To focus on the good thing that life has given you, to always count your blessing not your misfortunes. Promise to talk health, happiness and prosperity to everyone on everyday of your life, to think, pray and hope for the best and only the best in your life. To live in faith even when everything seems to be impossible. To be the winner in this fight because you were born to win.

P.S I love you