Are you stuck in the past?

What experience has taught me is that one of the most difficult things to let go is our past. It’s as if it’s a heavy yoke that keeps dragging us down every time we move forward. Sometimes we are still stuck in the joys of the past and therefore hold on wishing to relieve it someday. Sometimes we just cannot bring ourselves to admitting that it’s a part of us that do more harm than good. We find ourselves entangled in a web difficult to escape. Denial and false hope become our daily partaking. We look at other happy couples, watch our lives get wasted before our very own eyes as we are busy chasing the wind. What we seldom realize is that the past has a way of making the present come to a standstill. As we are busy bemoaning what happened in our past, our present also suffers a beating. We fail to take notice of the opportunities before our very own eyes,  fail to hijack the same opportunities, waste golden chances at redeeming ourselves and inadvertently end up a mere shell of our former selves.

What is it about the past that we find difficult letting go? Why do we always hang on the joys etched somewhere in our memories? We have basically become masters of rewind buttons. We like replaying the good moments, the good times, the once in a lifetime happenings. What we fail to realize is that there is a reason why every single one of us has a past. The astonishing thing about people who are stuck in the past is that they are engaged in a certain kind of zeal that would be more portent had it been channeled towards bettering their future. Was your heart left wounded? Did you lose a loved one you can’t bring yourself to admitting? Did you lose your property, everything you ever lived for and are now destitute? Were you a high flying executive but now has nothing to show for it? Have you been a victim of a job dismissal? Have you found yourself out of school because you can no longer pay for your school fees? 

Fear not; do not lose hope because there is a reason as to why things happen the way they do. Yeah right, I know the saying is kind of old but then, the truth of the matter is that we all are aloof to the mechanisms of life. We keep seeking for answers but rarely get them. What do we do in the end? You guessed it right. We come up with what we think best suits the situations. We come up with reasons, excuses and find pleasure and comfort in apportioning blame to others. If only people realized that some things are best left untouched, some questions best left unquestioned and some roads best uncharted, then and only then can we purpose to live. The problem with living in the past is that we tend to open up one painful memory after the other. At times we are stuck in the good memories and simply can’t resist looking at that closed door.

Before we know it, all we have is nostalgia and melancholy hence missing a wondrous opportunity to make all those great memories of the past a pleasant experience of the moment. Personally, am the kind of person who believes that we need to embrace whatever hatred we are harboring. Embracing hate and accepting your predicament is the first step towards recovering. It’s indeed a better way of getting out of the rut, clearing your mind of any ebb, controlling your emotions and learning to let go. Recounting instances of heartaches, entertaining acts of bitterness, disappointments and pain of the past will not do us any good. All we do is become mere caricatures and fast propelling ourselves towards the path of destruction.

We become good pretenders, always smiling while behind the mask we are bleeding. We find ourselves in a tricky position, we become judgmental, resentful and sometimes blind enough to discern anything useful in our lives or even among those we associate. Our bodies are in the present but our minds and memories are on holiday in the past. Is this the kind of life you want to live? Do you want to be defeated easily and give up? Of course not! Realizing that pain and happiness is part of life is the first step towards achieving fulfillment and contentment. You need and must realize that you are the sole steward of your life, the architect, the captain and the commander in chief. Leading a distasteful life, lingering too long on a door that is already closed won’t help you.

Stop being the kind of person that asks “what if” all year round, purpose and dare to ask “what’s now”. If you are looking forward for a brighter future, then you need to understand that what you do with your present very much informs or influences how your future turns out. At the end of the day, life is all about living in the present. The past is dead and buried and the future is yet to be born. Look on the positive aspect of life, let go off your pains, your disappointments, your heartaches, your failures, and your lost opportunities and forge ahead into the future a whole person. 

If you are the kind of person who is still stuck in the past, routinely finds yourself stuck in a rut, can’t come over looking over your shoulder and always pessimistic, then its time you made up your mind and made something positive out of your life. Let the past remain in the past, learn from its pain and joys and use it to launch the joys of the future. In the final analysis, keep in mind the words from Mathew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Purpose to believe in yourself and let go off the pains of the past!