If you were born and raised in a Christian
family like me you will probably disagree with me on the account that
Christians are not allowed to bad mouth their church leaders. Yeah there is a
special kind of malice attached to speaking evil against church leaders, if you
ask one of those religious people he will probably tell you it is because they
are God’s chosen people, it’s a sin to speak about them besides speaking about
them may harm the society but is keeping quiet a better option? Somehow I cannot continue to keep this in me
because even though mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain it is harder
to bear and the attempt to conceal it has increased the burden that I just want
to take off me. Even thought I have not stepped in Church for ages I still believe
in Christianity the same way I believe the sun has risen not only because I can
see it but because I can see everything else through it.
Ever since I was a little baby, I
was taken to church; I have attended Sunday school form a tender age where I
was taught about everything that was supposed to make me a good Christian. It
was a good foundation that I have never regretted. Attending the service every
Sunday was something that I was used to and I loved doing; Not because I
believed it made me a better Christian but because I believed it nourished my
soul the same way food nourishes my body. It was the only way I knew to feed my
soul until I realised I could also feed it from my home and it will still be in
a good shape. And then my concern was no longer weather God was on the side of
those who go to church but to be on God’s side, for God is always right.
I don’t know about the priest and
pastors in the past, I don’t know if they were the same as those of this century,
if they were better or more evil than these of this century. All I know is
something is seriously wrong with the current priests and pastors. They pretend
to be what they are not, preaching what they cannot practice. They stand in
front of the congregation preaching about adultery yet they are the ones who have
several wives and some even dare to practice homosexuality, the preach about
respecting each other, about respecting our bodies saying our bodies are the
temple of the Holy spirit yet they are the ones who rape our children, turning
them to gay men and even infecting them with HIV/AIDs. They do everything that
they tell people not to and yet they still think they can raise their hands and
pray for those who are sinful.
Dear diary, There is an old
saying that says, the Bible in the hand of a man can be more dangerous than a
whisky bottle in the hand of another man. I know a lot of people will disagree
with me on this one but it’s true. There are people who will side with the
priests and pastors saying they are human and that is Satan at work, but no...
but it’s not an excuse because no matter what society you come from, no matter where
you were raised, you must know what is wrong and what is right, there are
standards in each society that point out what is acceptable and what is not. We
can debate moral issues as ideas but not moral standards. Standards are not
ideas they exist in form of observable measurable behavior They have to be
followed, they have to be practiced, we are all human yet not everyone does the
evils done but our priests and pastors.
For most of Christians including
me prefer to think of a sacred space (Alter) as some light filled wondrous
place where we can feel good and find a way to shore up our psyches against
different tribulations and even death. We hate to know that someone so evil and
an agent of Satan in one way or another; stand there as though he is an angel
preaching to people what he cannot practice. We hate to know that you are there
for money, to preach about giving while you, yourself don’t give a dime. You take
money from the poor and you use it to satisfy your won luxurious life (I bet Jesus
is ashamed of you).
Mahatma Gandhi once said, “a
prayer is not asking, it is a longing of the soul, it is a daily admission of
one’s weakness, it is better in prayer to have a heart without words that to
have words without a heart.” But for most of our priests and pastors it is
better to have words without heart then to have a heart without words. Sometimes
it makes me wonder how they sleep at night, how they manage to even not care
about the money you are using knowing there are people that did not have
anything to eat but due to their faith gave our their last dime to church but
then I remember it’s all about money, that the end justify the means. All the
words they preach on Sunday services are all meditated upon, twisted carefully
in a way that would touch peoples souls into giving more and more money but in
reality they are nothing but empty words.
I have no idea how my future will
be, what is waiting for me, weather I will go to heaven or I will go to hell,
but for the moment, I know if is not right to keep quiet about all the evils
being done by our church leaders, they should be punished like everyone else. It
is not right for them to keep taking and taking advantage of the poor people, I
know it is not right that the preach what they don’t practice and I know I will
not look the other way just because the church does not all us pin point all
the wrongs done by their leaders.
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