Is there such a thing as unconditional Love???

Dear diary,

Is it just me or does it happen to everyone? I mean wondering if there is such a thing as unconditional love. I don’t know, may be its because I have been raised in a society where love is always conditional; the kind of society where your parents will love you more if you did good at school and behaved properly at home, the society that your friends would love you if you shared your toys with them and never tell anyone about their dirty little secrets, the society that you will be loved if all the time you use polite language like “please”, “thank you”, “excuse me”, not screaming in public, not forgetting, and of course giving a lot to everyone who is in need.

When you are raised in such a society, you work hard to do a perfect thing to the people you love so that you don’t lose their love but secretly you also expect them to go out of their way to do what you like to keep your love. The funny thing about all this is the fact that sometimes we don’t really know if the love we have for the other person is conditional until one of the conditions is broken, may be its because we work so hard to have the ideal kind of love that is expected of us to win their approval. Sometimes we even reassure ourselves that we are ready for everything that comes our way as long as we have the one person we truly love. But is it true? Well, if you are in love, chances are, you will say it’s true but let us face it. There are times when we come face to face with some things we did not expect from our partners, those things that you just can’t get off, something that you can’t forget just like that. That is when you realize that sometimes it is not the answer; it is the question of how far you are willing to go that bothers you.

For some reasons people keep saying they love others unconditionally, but if you look closely, you will realize the love they talk about need to be earned, it needs to be proven, its dependent on a certain behaviors, certain rules that have to be observed. I know some people will disagree with me (it’s okay) but let’s be honest, how many of us can give others that true unconditional love?? And when I say unconditional I mean like the kind of love the dog gives its master. How many of us could love even if you have been kicked and beaten and humiliated? How many of us can go on kissing the hand of his/her tormentor with upturned eyes??? I don’t know who could, may be Jesus could, but I know I can never do so.

Nothing will tear us apart, nothing you become will disappoint me, I will love you to the end of the word it’s just among the few promises we make when we are in love in an attempt to tell our loved ones that the love we have for them is true and unconditional. But if love was to be unconditional, no boundaries, no limits, no rules why should anyone try to do the right thing? If I know am loved no matter what I do, no matter what I become, where is the challenge? How do I prove I love the other person if I don’t have to sacrifice a thing to make our love work? I know some will say true love does not need to be proven….but then how will I know if he really loves me? How will he know if I really love him?

There are times that I think love requires both partners to be at their best all the time, because love does have conditions. Because even if love was unconditional then it would not have been free, you have to give to receive. There is always an expectation attached to love. The people you love always expect something in return. Even if it’s not for their own benefit but they do expect something. Like they want you to be happy or faithful and that makes automatically responsible for their happiness because they won’t be happy unless you are.

The truth is the kind of love most of us experience is the kind of love that chooses to believe the best upon the people we love. It gives them the benefit of doubt refusing to fill the unknown with negative assumptions but it is always conditional. Love has to be conditional; love is always conditional because love is never safe.